My little Lola turned 1 year old today. Actually precisely at 9:55 P.M.
A year ago at 9:55:
I was laying in my hospital bed with a rag on my head, Ryan at my side with a Monster energy drink in one hand, and Lola was being welcomed onto this earth with a big wailing cry. The nurse laid her directly on my bare chest and our heartbeats connected. At that moment I felt like the one thing in this world that could keep her as safe as she could ever be.
I know one day I will have to let her go and so she can try to change the world and stuff, but I will always stand by those words.
I will always keep her safe, no matter the circumstances.
This year has been the most beautiful experience of my life. It's funny how such a small being can change your life so drastically. It took so much adjusting and loopy turns, but we've made it. We are still making it and now our adventures are becoming more and more crazy since she will be taking her own little steps on this earth right along side us soon.
There is so much yet to come, but I'm just kind of relishing in these last 12 months. I'm taking a swim with the little moments that made my heart pump a little stronger every day. All the belly laughs, the early morning bottles, all the little things we did all over this town as a trio, all the scary sick nights, and of course all the firsts.
Everything about this year has been, gosh, I don't know... indescribable.
Our job as parents is to be the guide through the messy mazes of this life. Never did I think the tables would somehow turn and my (now) one year old would be holding my hand and guiding me along the way as well. I have learned more about myself this year than any year of my life. I really thought I had myself all figured out until I became a Mom.
I learned that I sometimes over control situations and that sometimes the easiest solution is to just let it all go.
I learned that waking up early, has a lot more pros than cons. There really is life at 7 AM.
I learned to just walk away and breathe. It really does work.
I learned to accept help and quit trying to be wonder woman.
I actually taught myself how to cook this year, and I'm damn good at it. Which in turn has taught me to keep up with things that I normally would give up on (this blog, keeping the house clean and well organized, opening up an etsy shop with handmade goodies, and reading many many more books).
Being a 'stay at home' mom scared the living hell out of me, but oh my gosh I would never trade doing it for anything in the world. It's funny. I don't talk about this often because...whatever, but before I got pregnant, I said over and over again that I was not a "mom" type person, I was clueless and I was happy with my life and didn't want kids. Not that I hated kids or anything, it's just the idea of them didn't mesh well with what my "used to be," future held.
When Lola was born, I fell in love with this mom thing and especially staying home with her.
So as you can tell, so much has changed.
A year came and went. I now have a happy, healthy 1 year old that is bound and determined for another year of exploration with Mommy and Daddy side by side.